Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Now that's how you end up getting gay
You seldom hear about things that make you stop your car in traffic and get out so you can enjoy an uninhibited laugh but this is certainly one of them. Chris Birch, who claims to have been a hardcore rugby playing, beer drinking man’s man, says he is now gay due to a broken neck. Yes that’s right, broken neck induced gayness. After suffering a stroke caused by his broken neck he says he awoke in the hospital and no longer felt attracted to women. He proceeded to bleach his hair, lose 112 pounds, quit his job and become…you got it, a hair dresser. He now lives with his 19 year old boyfriend and couldn’t be well, gayer. Neurologists claim this is totally plausible but I’m sorry I don’t buy it for a bit. This poor little man was in denial before, and his accident has just given him a scapegoat. Look at the way he was injured to begin with. In a room full of sweaty men working out he decided that was the time to perform a back flip, which resulted in his broken neck. Now if you break out a cheerleading move in a weight room you were probably a member of the other team already. This story should outrage straights and gays alike simply because it suggests that you can get knocked gay. I’m a firm believer that gay is simply the way you were born, but now you may roll off the bed the wrong way and wake up gay. Stay sharp out there ladies and gentlemen we have entered a brave new world and your next slip and fall may result in more than a sore butt, a real sore butt.